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Forgive, forget: it’s a choice most of us face throughout our lives. The church teaches on the power of forgiveness; seminars and self-help books have focused on the subject; Google brings up millions of hits. But that’s just the process of learning how to forgive. Alan Demmitt, associate professor in counselor education and human services, wants to know if there’s more to it.
Demmitt discusses the concept in his Integrated Approaches to Clinical Counseling course, geared toward students preparing to become mental health counselors. He’s been conducting his own research for the past two years on how forgiveness, or lack thereof, affects mental health — and our daily lives. Though psychology major Michaela Eames ’15 hasn’t taken his course, she’s taken interest in his research. “This isn’t an area I’ve seen much about, so I find it really interesting,” she said.
While most of us aren’t mental health experts, avoiding a grudge could be as easy as following these steps and considering the questions Demmitt poses through his research.
1. Look beyond the books. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is the reference guide mental health counselors use to diagnose mental illnesses like depression or anxiety. However, there may be additional factors to consider. “Things you won’t see in there are bitterness, resentment or a lack of forgiveness, but there are many people struggling with those issues, and it could lead to depression, anxiety or fractured relationships,” Demmitt said. Taking those negative feelings into account could help individuals pinpoint — and solve — the problem.
2. Consider your values. Whether you practice a religion or not, certain values could influence your approach to forgiveness, Demmitt said. As part of his research, he interviewed a group of 10 clergy of different faiths about how they apply their religious practices to forgiveness. He’s transcribing the results and plans to next interview individuals without a faith tradition. Eames wonders if research could also address one of her observations: “Forgiveness is innate in
everyone, whereas faith is not.”
3. Establish a forgiving spirit. Demmitt devotes a portion of his research to how people prepare for forgiveness. “I’m focusing on what people do to be ready to forgive when a situation arises,” he said. “How do they go about cultivating this sense of forgiveness in their lives?” Eames calls it “stabilized forgiveness”: finding its origin and learning how to keep it going to prevent a grudge from interfering with
4. Keep it up. It’s easier to accomplish something than it is to maintain it, Demmitt said, like losing 5 pounds versus keeping it off. “Are there habits and practices people engage in on a daily or weekly basis to keep a forgiving spirit about them?” his research asks. Like the religious figures Demmitt interviewed, following a certain faith tradition or another moral code can contribute to maintaining the forgiving spirit you establish. While Demmitt has not yet reached a conclusion in his research, Eames contends that addressing the process — and the topic itself — is an important first step in helping people live happier lives.
As children, we’re taught to sing about twinkling little stars and wonder how they are; we learn to wish upon them; we hope to catch those that fall and put them in our pockets.
But what doesn’t often get included in these lessons is how to find the stars and their constellations. One University of Dayton class seeks to change that.
Andrea Massimilian ’14 took the stargazing class, taught by Brother Dan Klco, S.M. ’92, during her senior year. Today she is a first-year fellow in the Orr Entrepreneurial Fellowship program.
For those of us outside the classroom, here’s your own ticket to stardom.
1. Know when to be in or out. Klco structured his classes around three different scenarios based on cloud coverage. “If there was complete cloud coverage, we would be learning in the classroom about the night sky and constellations,” Massimilian recalled. “If there was partial visibility, we would be in the classroom for part of the time and then work with a telescope. On the nights where there was no cloud coverage, we would go to a farm about 40 minutes away and view parts of the solar system, like Jupiter and Mars.”
2. Take a field trip. The best way to view stars is away from the “Dayton bubble,” Klco says; the campus and city give off too much ambient light, preventing many stars from being seen. True stargazers find a dark area away from any lights like the farm where Klco takes his class. There are also other ways to view stars around Dayton. “We took a field trip to the Boonshoft Museum of Discovery’s planetarium and got a private tour of the gigantic telescope there that is open to the public on Friday nights,” Massimilian said.
3. Know the constellations of the season. The constellations change from season to season based on the orbit of the Earth. “Most people know that in summer you see the Little Dipper and Big Dipper, but where are they in the winter?” Massimilian said. You can visit websites, like stardate.org, to look up what constellations can be found in each time of year.
4. Do not mistake your stars. The gospels of Luke and Matthew tell the story of the Nativity of Jesus. An important element of the story is the Star of Bethlehem, or Christmas Star, which guides the three Magi from the East to Jesus. They bless him with gifts and receive a divine warning to not return to Herod. It is not uncommon to hear people confuse the Star of Bethlehem with the North Star, which many people also associate with guiding slaves to freedom during the Civil War era. Since it is unlikely Jesus was born Dec. 25, it is hard to know what in the sky was the brightest the night he was born, she said.
5. Apps are your friends. Klco provided his students with several websites and apps for them to resource throughout the semester, like Star Chart and Night Sky Lite. They benefit users by helping them pinpoint constellations in the sky. “If you open the app on your phone and point the camera at the sky, the app will outline the constellations and identify them for you,” Massimilian said.
After a bittersweet summer of last times and goodbyes, it’s finally here: your first year of college. You’ve got to find your place, make a new group of friends and begin planning for your future. But you’re not alone; you’ve got the entire UD community cheering you on.
Here are five ways to make your first year at UD the best it can be (from those who’ve been there).
1. Just do it. Throw caution to the wind, along with your social anxiety. “Talk to everyone,” says Alyssa Marynowski ’13. “If it doesn’t work out, try again next weekend.” Enjoy the thrill of exploring things you’ve never done before and dancing with the thought of meeting your best friends after one moment of social bravery. “You don’t know anyone, and there are thousands of people,” Marynowski says. “Be yourself. If someone doesn’t like it, one of the thousands of other people will.”
2. Embrace the community (bathrooms). As a first-year student at UD, chances are you will only live in a dorm for one year. Living in close quarters with your peers can be scary, and less than private, but you’ll definitely never be lonely. “It sounds cheesy, but keep your door open. Really,” Marynowski says. “I met one of my best friends of five years by popping my head into her room and telling her I liked her comforter.” So, embrace the closeness of your floor — open your door, say “hi” to a neighbor, plug in those portable iPod speakers and start up the shower karaoke. It will never be so easy to have a dance party in a bathroom ever again.
3. Eat. UD’s dining halls were rated No. 9 in the country, according to the Princeton Review. As a first-year, you live less than a block from the nearest dining hall. “Take advantage of that meal plan before you have to start cooking your own meals,” says senior electrical engineering major Matt Sprague ’15. Until then, swipe that FlyerCard and keep an eye out for open events with free food. Who knows? Maybe you’ll even end up loving the club that’s sponsoring it. “Get a calendar and mark every date that has an event with free food, and hang it on your fridge so everyone knows,” says Marynowski. The “freshman 15” is worth Marycrest’s pasta day and free Ben & Jerry’s.
4. Work hard, play hard. It’s really easy to get caught up in the college party scene, but staying focused on why you’re really here is the best decision you’ll make. “Find that balance,” says Marynowski. “I had a lot of fun, but I also got good grades and got involved. Find what motivates you; it will keep you in line.” Marynowski was a double major in English and public relations, and was president of Gamma Epsilon Lamba, a coed service fraternity, her senior year. You could also find her at the funniest theme parties with the best costumes. “Don’t be stupid. You can have fun and not ruin your life,” she says.
5. Don’t settle. UD offers endless opportunities, but here’s the catch: you have to go get them. “Do as much as you can, because freshman year is really the only year you have enough time,” Sprague says. “Don’t waste it.” Honors societies, campus recreation and more than 200 other organizations are just waiting for you to jump in. Attending Up the Orgs in Central Mall at the beginning of the year is a sure-fire way to find your niche. “Join a club,” Sprague says. “Because you might not be where you want to be going into your senior year as far as leadership goes, just because you messed around your first year.” If you do it right, which you probably will, you’ll want to go back and do it all over again.
Click HERE to watch a video of the 2014 Up the Orgs day.
First, there was the tree in the backyard your parents told you not to climb. Then came the rock wall at the mall your friends said was too high. Next was whitewater rafting the summer between sophomore and junior year in college. You remember when you “accidentally” chose the more dangerous left route, even though it’d made news earlier in the week for all the wrong reasons.
Even if these don’t describe the kind of adventures you’ve been on in the past, it’s not too late to start.
“There’s not an age limit on being adventurous,” says Emily Wilk, assistant director of UD’s outdoor education programs. “It all depends on what a person is comfortable with doing.” Campus recreation members can feel more comfortable thanks to UD’s Outdoor Engagement Center. Opened last August near RecPlex in a building that alumni may remember as Rudy’s Fly-Buy, it offers outdoor gear rental, a DIY bike repair station and education clinics.
Wilk offers five tips for anyone seeking a successful time in any neck of the woods.
1. Be spontaneous, at first. Wilk says sitting down and considering all the ins-and-outs is fine once you decide where you want to go. As far as deciding what you want to do, “Go with your gut,” she says. “But also know your limits.”
2. Do some research. Taking a class may seem like a bit of a drag for a spontaneous backpacking trip, but for someone who’s never done it before, it can be invaluable. Wilk says learning as much about the area, the adventure and the people you’re with is always helpful. “It shouldn’t just be about the rush of adrenaline,” she says. “By knowing what local bookstores, restaurants or buildings are nearby, you’ll get a whole new set of places to discover along your path.”
3. Have a plan. What are you going to do first? Where are you going to set up? Wilk says having a plan in mind is important because it helps you make the most of your time. Without one, you could spend hours wandering around. “This is where the research you’ve done comes in handy,” she says.
4. Be prepared. After you figure out where you’re going and what you’re doing, make sure you have what you need. “The last thing you want to happen is to try and go rappelling and realize you have no rope.” Wilk says you also should make sure you’re going to be with a group of people you know, or at least have a friend with you. The Outdoor Engagement Center gives students and staff the materials they need — including backpacks, stoves, tents and sleeping bags — for trips ranging from one day to one week.
5. Have fun. “New experiences are wonderful,” Wilk says. “You get to see new things, meet new people and learn about the part of yourself that you may have thought never existed.” Adventuring, she adds, is one of the most pleasant ways to enjoy the outdoors.
Got a minute?
That’s enough time to convince people they need to hear more, says Jay Janney, associate professor of management and marketing and founder of UD’s Business Plan Competition, now in its eighth year.
“The goal of a pitch is to entice people to listen further, not to get a final commitment,” he explains. “For an entrepreneur, that means getting an appointment to pitch the full plan.”
Janney, the Robert and Patrica Kern Family Foundation Faculty Fellow for Engineering and Entrepreneurship, has coached hundreds of students in UD’s elevator speech competition — named because the spiel can be shared in the time it takes to ride three floors in an elevator. He says it’s the component students usually dread.
“It’s a good life experience for students, but they hate getting up to give pitches. After they do it once or twice, though, they begin to enjoy it, and they get it. We founded the Business Plan Competition to give students an experience they don’t get in class,” he says.
Here’s how to knock your own pitch out of the park:
1. Be an attention-getter. “A good opening, or ‘hook,’ resonates with the listener and leads to the problem statement, which ought to make your audience nod and say, ‘Yeah, that needs a solution,’” Janney says.
2. Say (or play) it again. Janney teaches this technique: Give your pitch, then visualize the sort of good news you’d want to call home and tell your parents about. “I ask them how that feels and how they’d say it. Then, repeat the pitch. It changes. They are more enthused, more natural.” Or, follow the lead of Aaron Pugh ’13, who won first place in this year’s contest. “I recorded myself giving the speech, then listened to it on my iPod. When I went to sleep, I left it playing.”
3. Know it’s not all business. An elevator speech isn’t just for entrepreneurs, Janney points out. “When I networked campus, I found many departments have a pitch; they’re just called different things: an audition, a tryout, an interview,” he says. “The worst thing you can do when selling yourself is ramble, or be unsure or appear to waste someone’s time. Someone who is focused, relaxed and sincere stands out.”
4. Make ‘em laugh. Pugh is energetic and funny — and he wanted his pitch for Hot Seat, a portable, heated stadium chair with a USB hub, to reflect that personality. “I like to joke around, so I incorporated that into my pitch; it made it feel more natural. My tagline was, ‘Don’t let frost bite your buns.’ It was clever — and I figured, nobody else is going to be talking about your butt, so it’s memorable.”
5. Remember your audience. “What you need doesn’t matter to anyone else besides you; your pitch has to appeal to the person you’re talking to,” says Pugh, who has developed a prototype — and attracted some investors — for Hot Seat. “You only have 60 seconds; make sure you’re emphasizing the benefit to them.”
When Erin O’Connell ’14 sits down at her family’s holiday table each year, she expects a side of laughter with her cheesy potatoes. They will tease each other about who got to fill their plate first (the O’Connells line up by height, shortest in front) and continue poking fun at the couple who mailed frozen meat to an aunt in advance of the party — but forgot to tell her, so it thawed on her front stoop.
“Sitting down together over a meal is crucial to our relationships with each other, and to food,” says O’Connell, a senior dietetics major and president of the Student Dietetics Association. She notes that coming together at the table is central to the Marianist tradition.
As psychology professor Jack Bauer points out, “People need rituals. We are hard-wired to be part of groups, especially family, and in a time when our society is so complex — people are living all over and are busy — we need to have a set place where it all comes together, even just once a year.”
Meals also offer time for reflection. “You don’t need to have long, in-depth conversations about the meaning of life. Just by talking about the things that you’re doing, that you’re interested in, you’re talking about what’s important to you. You’re checking in with each other, and maybe finding ways to help each other,” says Bauer, who serves as Roesch Chair in the Social Sciences.
1. The family that cooks together, stays together. Or, at least stays happier. “Cooking as a group takes the pressure off one person to prepare the whole meal and be stuck in the kitchen,” O’Connell says. Also, plan ahead. If hosting a potluck, coordinate dishes so there’s adequate oven space, or ask guests to bring cold dishes, like a salad or fruit tray.
2. Think big (but serve small). In Brian Wansink’s book Mindless Eating, he notes that when food is placed in a smaller serving bowl with smaller serving utensils, people will take and eat less. “It’s a mental thing. You think you are eating the same as you would from a bigger bowl, but you actually serve yourself less and are still satisfied,” O’Connell explains. Aim to fill your table with a quarter protein, half vegetables and fruit, and a quarter grains.
3. Eat first, play later. No, you don’t have to give up grandma’s triple-layer pecan pie. But eating lean protein and vegetables before arriving can help you make clearer choices. “You’ll eat less because you’ll be full faster,” O’Connell says. Then, get moving: run a 5K together, throw a Frisbee around the yard or turn on some tunes and dance. “My family always plays flag football the day after Thanksgiving,” O’Connell says. “We enjoy working together as a team, but it also helps people feel relaxed and happy since physical activity produces endorphins.” She recommends scheduling your fun between dinner and dessert; it allows your cells to use those nutrients before you ingest more sugar.
4. Keep the fun (not the food poisoning) going. One memory no one wants: an illness epidemic. “Don’t let the food sit out for more than 90 minutes,” O’Connell says. “Not only does this follow recommended food safety guidelines, it also keeps you from eating more.” Another idea: Leftovers can make great one-dish entrees the next day, with little effort. O’Connell suggests turkey noodle soup, gnocchi using mashed potatoes, or a casserole. “Combine the rest of your vegetables, turkey and stuffing, add a cream soup, and put it in the oven.”
5. What guests don’t know won’t hurt them. One final tip: “If you alter recipes to reduce the fat and sugar, keep it a secret,” O’Connell advises. “Not everyone is ready to make those changes.”
Surrounding yourself with children isn’t the only way to stay young at heart — acting like a kid can have benefits, too, says Shauna Adams ’79, associate professor and executive director of the University of Dayton’s Bombeck Family Learning Center.
“One of the reasons children are so vibrant and interactive is that they inspire each other. As adults, we often look for ‘the’ answer, and once we find what we think it is, we don’t go any further,” says Adams.
Joy Comingore, curriculum and field specialist at the Bombeck Center, cites author Rachael Carson, who says that for children to keep the sense of awe and wonder they’re born with, they need the companionship of at least one adult who hasn’t lost his or her own sense of fascination with the world. Adams notes that there is a correlation between creativity and innovative thinking in young children and their achievement later in life.
“For every dollar spent in early learning, between $7 and $16 is saved later in terms of fewer jail cells, less special education and intervention, lower high school dropout rates and more potential to collect tax dollars from successful citizens,” Adams explains.
Want to get your creative juices flowing? Try these tips.
1. Put down the to-do list. “Children are present in the moment. They notice what is happening around them rather than concentrating on what is coming up next or re- hashing what they just experienced,” Comingore says. “We miss the common, everyday experiences that can enhance our lives: the young rabbit in the front yard; the funny-looking cloud; the smiles on the faces of others, especially when we have smiled first.”
2. See the potential. Remember when a towel was a superhero cape, a row of kitchen chairs be- came a train car and a stick was a mag- ic wand? Reignite that imagination. “Innovation can be about physical play and items that you have in front of you, but it’s also a mindset, a communication style, a problem-solving style,” Adams says. For example, when Bombeck Center teachers led their preschoolers through an investigation of earthworms last summer, they asked themselves what other connections the lesson could hold. Since earthworms self-generate electricity as they move through the earth, the group moved on to study friction and
3. Do the hokey pokey. When Comingore sees students’ eyes glaze over during class, she has them get up, walk around, swing their arms and touch their elbow to the op- posite knee. Teacher and educational consultant Ann Anzalone ’90 points out that movement helps build the brain. “Crossing the midline of our body activates the brain and gets different areas of it working,” she says. “Children naturally get these movements in as they run and play. As adults, we have to be more intentional about incorporating brain-integrating movement each day.”
4. Don’t play the villain. Approach relationships in a non-threatening way, and they’ll be more fruitful. “Fear, threats and too much pressure increase cortisol levels and close down the learning receptors in both children and adults,” Adams says, adding that collaboration and flexibility are precursors to innovation.
5. Be silly. Start any brainstorming session with the mindset that there is no stupid idea. “Often, brainstorming is done ruthlessly, with specific rules about what it should look like,” Adams says. “But the absurd ideas have value because those are the ones that allow you to see things in a new light and find a unique solution.”
Hear more from Adams about the power of play in this 90-second Lecture.
When MBA grad Philippe Dubost ’07 launched his search for a new career with a unique online résumé, he hoped it would
lead to new opportunities. What he didn’t expect were the resulting job offers: all 100 of them.
“After two years with the startup company I cofounded, I decided to look for a new venture — but the idea of applying for jobs was killing me,” said the Paris-based Web entrepreneur. “I wanted to make something different.”
A mirror image of an Amazon.com product page, Dubost crafted the résumé in just two days and included it as a link with other application materials. On a whim, he shared it with a popular French blog; within five days, the résumé had gone viral, thanks to a post on social media news site Mashable.com.
One person unsurprised by his approach is Janice Glynn, director of the University’s MBA program. An exchange student from France’s Toulouse Business School, Dubost after graduation worked with Procter & Gamble Canada through a Cincinnati contracting company, then moved to San Diego for a software development job. It’s rare for international students to be hired by U.S. companies, Glynn explained, due to visa restrictions.
“He made an impression as soon as he arrived on campus as a very talented and charismatic individual,” she said.
Jason Eckert, director of UD’s career services, agreed. “From a professional standpoint, Philippe did so many ‘right’ things during his search. He’s a communicator, and this profile makes it easy for employers to find him, learn more and then reach out,” he said. “It’s also a quick, fun read. Job seekers need to acknowledge that employers don’t spend much time reviewing documents, so using clear headings and short bullet points is perfect.”
1. Imitation is more than flattery — it can get results. “Everyone loves shopping at Amazon.com and is familiar with the site and its layout,” Eckert said, noting that building on that understanding showcased Dubost’s creative potential. “It drew a lot of positive attention to his skills and background.”
2. You’re gonna need more server space. A sudden influx of visitors, from about 500 a day to more than 200,000, tested the limits of Dubost’s server capacity. He also had to upgrade his online form-builder account after the number of “contact me” submissions exceeded the cap for free service.
3. Empty your calendar. Dubost found himself responding to more than 1,000 emails from fans, reporters and, most important, interested companies. “I’ve done my best to satisfy them all — it’s fun,” he said.
4. Expect the reunion requests. Social media helped propel Dubost’s profile from an interesting experiment to a lauded self-promotional campaign, and his former acquaintances took notice. Glynn noted that Dubost is adept at using online networking to stay in touch, periodically sending emails to the MBA program or posting updates on LinkedIn. “If he came back to campus to speak to current students, I wouldn’t have to suggest a topic; I know he’d want to talk about putting your passion into practice,” she said.
5. Polish your decision-making skills. Ultimately, Dubost’s pitch served its purpose, garnering him the job offer he’d been waiting for. He joined Birchbox, a discovery commerce platform with offices in the U.S. and Europe, at its Paris location this summer. “They’re a fantastic company with super smart people, an awesome culture, tremendous growth, and I couldn’t be happier about joining them.” Dubost is considering writing an e-book chronicling his short, but successful, hunt.
Watch out, Charlie Chaplin — the researchers in the School of Engineering’s Wellness and Safety Lab have put you, and your ubiquitous banana peel, on notice. With more than 2.3 million Americans heading to the emergency room each year for fall-related injuries, they are identifying ways to prevent falls, assess fall risk and mitigate related injuries.
“We’re humanists at heart — and that’s the beauty of engineering,” said assistant professor Kim Bigelow, the lab’s director. “The field is so broad, you can easily find a connection between the science and your passion. For me, it was finding ways to help people and improve their quality of life.”
You won’t find any slapstick shenanigans here: She and her team of student research assistants — including three National Science Foundation fellows — keep an even keel with the study of balance, a key factor in fall prevention.
1. Be active. “You don’t have to run a marathon. Make an extra lap around the grocery store, go outside and garden, take a ballroom dancing class. Just get moving,” Bigelow says. Tight-rope walking lessons optional.
2. Stay out of the medicine cabinet. Taking more than four medications — including vitamins and over-the-counter drugs — increases the chance of interactions and side effects, both of which can cause dizziness, explains graduate student Senia Smoot (who is researching how common physical therapies used to treat autistic children affect their balance). Have your doctor or pharmacist review all your medications; they can determine if interactions are likely or suggest alternatives.
3. Keep an eye out. Balance is heavily dependent on your sight and peripheral perception, so schedule regular exams and address abnormalities, like cataracts or blurred sight, as soon as possible.
4. Get new kicks. Thin-soled shoes without extra padding allow you the most sensation when touching the ground, which increases your balance. Using caution when transitioning between surfaces, such as carpet to tile, also matters, says graduate student Renee Beach, whose research focuses on novel compliant flooring, which is designed to absorb up to 50 percent of your energy in a fall. “I want to know if the material actually causes people to fall more often, or if it performs like a normal floor that then lessens injuries if a fall occurs.”
5. Reach out and touch something. Even placing a single fingertip (called a “light touch”) on a nearby surface, such as a table, wall or cane, can stabilize you. And watch out for peeled fruit — just in case.
David Bradley ’71 helped invent IBM’s first personal computer, but his claim to fame is the invention of the three-key shortcut to restart a computer — control-alt-delete. It’s made him a keyboard rock star in the computer world, where he’s befriended fellow computer whizzes like Bill Gates and regularly signs autographs. He offers tips on achieving technological fame.
1. Give it your all, all the time While working on the System/23 Datamaster, IBM approached him to help develop the PC. “You never know when the best opportunity is going to come along, so always make sure you’re doing your best.”
2. Take shortcuts Bradley was fed up with restarting the personal computer every time it malfunctioned, and so control-alt-delete was born. “It took all of about nine steps and five to 10 minutes to code.” Initially meant for programmers, the keystroke caught on with the public.
3. Bring a Sharpie Bradley prefers Sharpies — both black and silver — for autographing computer keyboards for his fans. “A guy from IBM has me sign 10 of them at a time that they give away as prizes during patent contests.” Students also request his autograph.
4. Spread your knowledge In the last 30 years, Bradley has taught at Florida Atlantic University and North Carolina State University, and his daughter, Sara Higgins, is carrying on the Bradley legacy as an electrical engineer at IBM.
5. Reward yourself Bradley took an early retirement from IBM in 2006 and has been traveling the world with his wife since, but play was always a priority. “I would take three to four weeks off for trips every year. I like to think I struck a reasonable balance between work and family.”